Here is all you need to know about Klown (the crass Danish comedy based on a long-running sitcom of the same name): There is a running gag throughout the first 15 minutes of the film about giving a woman a pearl necklace that culminates with the main character blowing a load across his sleeping mother-in-law’s face.

This is not a metaphor. Nor is it anything less than appalling. It is so appalling, in fact, I spent the next 15 minutes of the film trying to determine whether I was just too lowbrow to appreciate the rapier edge of Danish humor.

It turns out I am not.

What I am is challenged to appreciate baseless humor, especially when it needs to be explained via subtitles. Subtitles – by and large – have long been indicative of higher culture, which tends to make one wonder just how avant-garde he or she might feel watching some unsuspecting old woman wipe a son-in-law’s seed off her face.

Allow me to put it to you in the form of a question: Do you really feel like watching The Hangover again, only this time with boy scout genitalia and subtitles?

Answer: Of course not. Who on earth would really feel like watching The Hangover at all?

(Klown arrives in select theaters and Video on Demand this coming Friday.)