1. Hot chicks in tight, low-cut blouses
2. A seemingly reliable flashlight that’s suddenly prone to fits
3. Total douchebag jocks falling victim to the bad man’s wrath
4. Stabbing victims who do not drop an ounce of blood
5. Stabbing/shooting victims who inexplicably leap back to life, seemingly no worse for the wear
6. A dark house with the blinds drawn
7. A spooky girl in a white nightgown
8. An otherwise intelligent female lead who keeps on moving forward whenever she should be turning back
9. A female lead who trips and falls at the worst possible moment
10. An evil villain who explains his entire psychosis as he’s hunting down his prey in a dark, abandoned cellar
11. A spooky neighborhood house where a local couple was once butchered to death
12. A real-life dungeon hidden beneath a trap door in the basement floor
13. A ridiculously long hallway that leads toward a suspicious-looking door
14. A friendly neighborhood police officer
15. A curious neighbor
16. A stranger coming to town
17. Chloroform
18. A prevailing urban legend
19. An inheritance
20. People that walk into complete strangers’ houses without so much as knocking
21. An unspeakable evil that’s been lying dormant right under the town’s nose for years, before suddenly going on a terrifying, balls-out murder spree over the course of 3-4 consecutive days
22. A contrived attempt at creating a really heartwarming story to underlie the terror
23. A not-so-subtle nod of the cap to several other, much better horror movies
24. Recurring chunks of cheesy dialogue
25. A cringe-worthy twist that three-quarters of the audience grew hip to shortly after the opening credits
26. Major plot points that escape any and all rational thought or explanation
27. A ridiculous ending that hints at an even worse sequel to follow

(House at The End of the Street opens in theaters nationwide today)