“As of this morning, your missing card has run up a little over $3,300 in new charges, leaving you with an available balance of negative 36.”- “Do you ever think you’ll stop?”
- “Do you remember telling my sister to go fuck herself last night?”
- “I don’t get you. You claim you’ve quit drinking because you don’t like who you’ve become, and yet you’re really not that interesting, otherwise.”
- “I don’t understand why you pay tuition to do this.”
- “I don’t want to be with you this weekend.”
- “I guess I’ll just go kill myself.”
- “I just don’t think I want to be with a clown for the rest of my life.”
- “I just don’t understand what was going on inside your head.”
- “I think the two of us are fucking each other up.”
- “I’m not a woman.”
- “I’m not used to seeing you when you don’t reek like a puddle of piss.”
- “I’m pregnant.”
- “I’m sorry. I can’t think of someone who would break into my house, then steal my last six-pack as a person who I’d want to call my friend.”
- “I’m sorry things didn’t work out. Could you please refrain from calling me?”
- “It’s possible you still behave like a child because you’ve never felt accepted for any of your choices as an adult. It’s also possible you’ve never taken accountability for any of those choices.”
- “Maybe Santa’ll bring you a new tooth this year.”
- “Mike said he found you stark naked, ass-up, lying on the bathroom tiles earlier this morning.”
- “Mr. Hill, it is my opinion after hearing the officer’s account and witnessing your behavior in this courtroom that you may have potential for a problem.”
- “No offense, but you’re really not wanted around here anymore.”
- “OK. But we’re only gonna be friends, alright?”
- “Please delete this number. Not kidding.”
- “She had a miscarriage.”
- “Somebody told me you were dead.”
- “Ten pounds worth of potatoes inside a five-pound sack.”
- “To sum up – and I’m going to be blunt here – you are an ass and your excuses are lame.”
- “The system won’t allow me to charge any more drinks using this card. It’s saying that you’re overdrawn.”
- “We don’t care that you peed yourself. We care that you did it on our sofa.”
- “We don’t serve you … ever.”
- “Well, there’s fun drunk and then there’s Bob-Hill drunk. Nobody wants to be the latter.”
- “When you’re in a relationship, nothing good happens in a bar after 1 AM.”
- “Who are you and what are you doing naked in my apartment?”
- “Will you be OK if we end up hanging out in a bar?”
- “Yeah, well, it’s 5 o’clock in the morning, and this isn’t the first time you’ve shown up drunk, knocking on my door.”
- “What do I got? I got asshole kids like you who call out sick then wander up here drunk three hours later. And you wonder why I fired you.”
- “You try to run, I’ll shoot you.”
- “You’re a loser. You’ll always be a loser.”
- “You’re a rebel without a clue.”
- “You’re going to jail.”
- “You’re just a punk. That’s all you’ll ever be is a punk.”
- “You’re not in Virginia. You’re at my parents’ house in Long Island.”
- “You’re under arrest.”
Day 958
(Moving On is a regular feature on IFB.)