The problem with Paranoia – the movie, not the concept – is that it relies far too heavily on the average moviegoer’s stupidity in order to get its plot across. It’s the box-office equivalent of paying good money to have some asshole in a clown suit insult you at the dunk tank, the only real differences being:

• The average dunk tank only costs $2
• The asshole in a clown suit just so happens to be an A-list cast and crew, and
• A few minutes in front of a carnival dunk tank is absolutely nothing in comparison with the 106-minute drubbing this movie puts you through.

But, hey, what can I say? So long as there are still hard-working people out there more than willing to fork over their money, there will always be a dunk tank at the cinema.

Step right up. Place your bets.

(Paranoia opens nationwide this coming Friday.)